hye , assalamualaikum. okay , it has been almost 1 month i'm in smka pedas or should i call its new name , SMKA Dato' Haji Abu Hassan Hj Sail. so many things had happened. good things , bad things , everything . on the first day , i felt like going back to sheikh ahmad. i had miss them already . that night i had cried . same as the next day . and almost 2 weeks i've cried before i went off to bed . no one knows , except Allah . to whom i can express my feelings ? my new friends ? i can't because i don't think they will understand . i don't think they will understand how sad i am when i have to move out from D'Shah . leaving all my beloved friends there . leaving all my great most awesome teachers . leaving all the memories . its hard . so , hard .

 life as a new student is not easy . first , i have to make sure i'm ready by mental and physical .   second , i have to make myself comfortable there , how to mix with the other students and how to get many friends . at first , i don't care about having friends or not . cause i believe that i can move on ALONE . i keep saying to myself . "wa , whatever it is , you are here to study . not to huha huha like before . it is time for you to realise that next year you will face the biggest exam in your life . SPM . yes , SPM ." then , few days later , i started to realised that i need a friend . i mean , MANY friends . in my class , there are 4 new students including me. they are hafiza , shuhaida and haikal . and then , in my dorm there are 6 new students and Alhamdulillah , two of them are just like me . i mean , we have the same characteristics and habits .

it was so hard for us (new students) to mix with all the other students . we had been isolated . they do not want to mix with us .it was so depressing. day by day , life was getting better . they started talking to us . making jokes , and many more . but , some of them are still defending their ego . but , we don't mind actually cause we realised that we are just new students who try to make ourselves comfortable there . so , we don't have the right to force them mixing with us . it is up to them . i repeat , IT IS UP TO THEM . 

studies ? so far so good i think . Alhamdulillah , i can understand Prinsip Perakaunan and Ekonomi Asas eventhough i had missed 1 chapter . Add math ? huh , just like previous year , it was not easy for me to understand math . one day , my addmath teacher gave us Addmath's questions . and my marks are really bad . that teacher said that i am not qualified to take Addmath . it makes me lose hopes . i got out from the class and keep crying and crying . that moment , i wish they were right beside me . i wish cino , sha maz , mimi , abot , twins and all of them running to get me and hug me while saying "its going to be alright wa . we are here". thanks to Allah , my new friends came and gave me support . it was hard for me to smile that day . i kept remembered what my addmath teacher had said . YOU ARE NOT QUALIFIED TO TAKE ADDMATH . that sentence really breaks me into pieces . but no matter how many times i break down , there is always a piece of me that want me to get back up .

Ya Allah , please . give me strength to face all this . i need You Ya Allah . i miss my friends in sheikh ahmad . i need them. i know that , Allah will never give me a test that i can't solve . all i need is a little bit of doa and tawakal , little bit of strength and a smile . not a fake one . guys , please pray for me . please remember me . please don't forget me . that is all for now . so sorry if i have so many grammatical error . see you guys soon :') bye .